Why is choosing yourself so hard? From a young age, we’re taught to put others first, be nice, and not be selfish. By the time we reach adulthood, choosing ourselves feels like a betrayal. But what if it’s not selfish at all? What if it’s the most important decision we can make?

For years, I calculated the cost of leaving but never considered the cost of staying—the toll on my authenticity, peace of mind, joy, and health. I was so focused on what I might lose that I couldn’t see what I was already sacrificing.

Maybe you’re standing at a crossroads, feeling trapped in a toxic job or relationship. You dread going to work, feel guilty for wanting more, or worry about what others will think if you make a change. You wonder if it’s just you—why does everyone else seem fine while you feel lost? You’re exhausted from pretending, scared of starting over, and confused because you worked hard to get here. If this is success, why does it feel so empty?

I know that feeling well. After decades of climbing the corporate ladder, I found myself at the top of a six-figure executive career—only to realize I was unfulfilled and disconnected from my true self. Walking away from a job I had built my identity around and a decade-long relationship that no longer aligned with my growth forced me to confront everything I thought I knew about success, purpose, and self-worth. Through that journey, I discovered that grief isn’t just about loss—it’s about transformation. Drawing from my own experience and years of studying personal growth, I help others navigate major life transitions, reclaim their authenticity, and find the courage to choose themselves.

The Cost of Staying is your guide to trusting yourself, setting healthy boundaries, and building a life that aligns with who you truly are. Written like a conversation with a friend, this book reminds you that sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is admit that the life you’ve worked so hard to build might not be the one you’re meant to live.